he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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