Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
