He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
