but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
