didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
