Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
