careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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