Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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