Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
As shirtless as possible
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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