I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
