I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize