they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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