Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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