in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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