I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
