There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
