So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.