How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
be right there i have to get my cape
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.