Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.