i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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