Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize