He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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