help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
