I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
