My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
