The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
