Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
