I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
