As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So squirting runs in the family.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
