I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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