All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
