Rock
Scissors
Fuck
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
