I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
