I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
