when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
