living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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