The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
