I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
