Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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