You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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