just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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