mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
