"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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