question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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