I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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