Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
