Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
