There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
