Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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