Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
