Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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