I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize