My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
