Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
