Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
