i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
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She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
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Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Terrible idea I love it
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant