I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Barsexuality is the new black.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.