Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .