Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?