I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
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