Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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