We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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