Did you just see the Batmobile???
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize