I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
