she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
