Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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