I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
