FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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