We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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