i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize