I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
