I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Slut skills are useful in every country.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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